Pro-choice is NOT Pro-abortion....

I am pro-choice - which does not mean PRO-ABORTION. I have to put it that way because some people still believe pro-choice means pro-abortion. It does not. It means that I believe that each person's body is their own, under their own control and affected by their own decisions. No person is owned by another nor should any person be under someone else's thumb or subjected to someone else making decisions for them against their will. Therefore, I have to support freedom and that freedom of choice. Each person has the right and responsibility to choose their own outcome, even if someone else doesn't agree with it.

Now personally, I do not think I would choose to do it. I don't think that I could. I believe that life begins at conception, plus it took me around ten years to finally have ONE baby. She is five now, I cannot imagine life without her. She was very very very wanted. Birth control is not 100%, no, but the only way around that is abstaining, who in their right mind is going to turn down their spouse lol? Either way, if we had another, it would be meant to be, since I also don't really believe in accidents. I'm not even sure I'd be capable of it if we found out there was something wrong with the baby and he or she wouldn't live. It just doesn't feel right to me... for me. I have had friends who have struggled with this decision, and some who have had abortions, some who have given babies up for adoption, and some who have raised the baby. All I have hoped for each of them in regards is peace and strength in whatever decision they ultimately made. In every case when they shared the struggle with me, I have always told them to trust their own hearts, and to make sure that whatever they choose THEY can live with. I love them no matter what, I don't judge my friends, and it isn't MY decision. It is hard to become a parent, and it is hard to decide not to. It must be awful thinking about a child you gave up too, even if you knew it meant that child gets to have a better life.

I was raised Christian and I am now an agnostic. I do not think my religion nor lack of it has anything to do with how I feel. Many decisions and struggles people face are extremely personal and extremely individual, and NOT up to others to have any say, influence, or jockeying for position. Just my two cents on the matter.

Rebirthing - Skillet lyric video (my first attempt!)

My first attempt at a lyric video @ Yahoo! Video

After a lot of editing and trial and error here is my first attempt at a lyric video. This is posted at YouTube and my feed is from there for now because I can't get it to load directly as a file from my computer. Hope you like it, I enjoyed making it.

Love in dreams

Last night I had the oddest dream about a date I went on... with somebody really fun. I don't exactly know who he was because he wasn't exactly just one person. What I gather is that he must be a patchwork of several people....

I wish I hadn't forgotten most of the dream because my daughter woke me up around 7 AM disturbing it and I hadn't written anything down. Mostly what I remember is sensation (like touch), not visual, which sounds weird but it isn't. My lovely 'date' spent a good portion of the dream trying to touch me and I spent a good portion of time slipping away from him. Nothing pervy, I mean there was a lot of waist grabbing but we spent a lot of time in a truck. We weren't alone either, my cousin's wife actually had invited me, I clearly remember hearing her say she was glad she invited me because I was fun. *I* was fun? I wish I could remember the guy's name, so many things about him were so familiar but as a combination, doesn't ring a bell. He was young though, too young for me actually, so I think maybe when I dream I allow myself to stretch.

Dreams like this don't really have any reason for being, I have them every once in awhile and they are so real and so clear - to the point where I remember feeling terror in the dream that people I know will find out since I'm not technically supposed to be going on dates LOL! There are also times when people I know ARE in the dream too, and I usually am hoping there isn't bloodshed as a result. I like to have fun dreams and have a good time, but I think it would morph into a veritable nightmare if suddenly people started throwing punches or drawing knives or heck... biting each other!

I guess I decided to write about this so I can figure it out myself. I must have some odds and ends floating around in my mind that only come out in dreams. I used to journal and write extensively several years ago and only now have I returned to it in a small way by blogging, not quite the same as storytelling though. One thing I do know is that I do appreciate a little fun and I never turn it down if it doesn't hurt anybody, that's a nice thing to know about yourself.

How to censor yourself and not others....yes you epic FAILED!

So along comes another censorship issue, which I seem to butt heads with at least quarterly, if not more often. I post at a discussion site now and then and I really try to avoid the religious topics because it is SO easy to fall right into the trap of arguing with people who have already made up their minds to judge you because they disagree and refuse to see outside of their little 'box'.

I happened upon a discussion about a guy who was given a JAIL SENTENCE because he dressed up as a religious figure. My first thought was really... WHAT?! My second thought was mostly irritation toward whoever would consider giving a jail sentence to another person because they dressed up in a costume. A costume is a costume, folks. Do you think you'd have an issue if I dressed up as something or somebody? Why? What if I told you I just felt like it? Is it the INTENT that gets people's blood boiling? What if there is NO malicious intent? And how likely do you think it is that a person you don't even know that doesn't know you is PURPOSELY TRYING TO OFFEND YOU? Slim to none? Then why be offended? I don't understand.

So.. what follows is my response to one of the answers somebody gave:

I agree with this. People have GOT to start SELF censoring. If YOU personally don't like something, don't look at it. Don't listen to it. Don't read it. Don't get involved with it. Don't shop there. ETC ETC ETC! It's quite simple. Don't get the arrogant idea that just because YOU dislike or hate something or are against it that the person in FAVOR of it is purposely TRYING TO OFFEND YOU. This is not true, and it likely isn't about you at all. There are things I don't like. Doesn't mean I am personally offended and think that someone who LOVES it HATES me or is trying to hurt me or make me feel bad or get me upset or angry, etc. They probably have no idea I even exist plus my opinion shouldn't matter to them nor theirs to me. The only time I would actually think someone was purposely trying to offend me is if they SAID they were or indicated they were, and they were somebody I knew! Most of the backlash and issues are between people who are virtual strangers!

What I see instead is someone hates something they try to get it banned, which interferes with OTHER PEOPLES' enjoyment of (insert thing here). I think THIS is not fair which is why I am against censorship and banning of pretty much anything. Several examples - I don't smoke and I wouldn't personally have an abortion, but I am completely in support of smokers' rights and the rights of women to have final say over their own bodies. If I don't support free choices I am in essence cutting off my own foot down the road. I've seen it said that your personal freedom ends where mine begins, and that is true in a way. Believe what you want but don't impose your feelings on me. Take what you want, leave what you don't, but don't TAKE from me because you don't like what I like!

I mean just because someone else hates a book I love or hates a tv show I watch or hates a video game or a musician or whatever, I don't believe in any way, shape, or form that THEIR OPINION OR DISLIKE should translate into anything that affects ME, so they should take their hate and keep it to themselves! I want to read my book, not have it banned by someone hateful, I want to watch my tv show, not have it pulled by someone hateful, I might want to play my video game or watch my kids enjoy it, not have to beat someone's door down for getting it removed from stores, and as far as the musician, different strokes for different folks. Tell me, what is so hard about looking at it that way? Creative control lies with each individual, nobody should have the right to choose for anybody else on this planet.

Twilight Ate My Life....or how to make videos

My very first video of Twilight-inspired graphic art... and I am shaking in my boots. I love YouTube, I have been spending a lot of time there lately and mostly in awe of the creativity of fans and music lovers alike. I decided instead of posting up my first video there I'd do it in relative safety at my blog where I can choose who I share it with. I know my subscribers and friends I'd feed the link to love me and won't make fun no matter how amateur it is. I make this with love.... love of the techie stuff that allows someone who has never made a video or movie before to do it (thank you Picasa, thank you Aaron)... love of the characters who inspired the art and the artists who drew it. I couldn't credit anybody because they are screenshotted and not even posted up by the original authors, but most of them were signed by the original artists so I'm just saying I didn't draw these lol. I sure do wish I could draw this well. Aaron, if you read this I guess you might remember Jim (Ko) drew manga so this would be right up his alley. What I actually want to do is get lots of high quality art, screenshots, and photos and intersperse it with video from trailers or my dvd when it arrives. There are so many cool things I'd love to work on but I discovered through trial and error the last couple days that I need large files or they come up pixelated and unclear and wouldn't work for a video, at least not the quality I want if I'm going to upload them anywhere other people get to see. Please keep in mind I'll polish this up and probably use a different program next time so I can animate my text stuff better. I hope you enjoy my first stab at creativity using something other than well.... just words. =P

Some Twilight thoughts....

I came upon this video on youtube when I finally gave in to my otherworldly cravings for all things Twilight. Not that I'm sorry, this is a beautiful song, if you are looking for it, it is actually Yiruma - River Flows in You. It has been quite a day, and quite a journey from my hiding-under-a-rock (kidding) existance to my outward love and appreciation for Stephenie Meyer. If she only knew what an exponential rate she made fans since fans DO buy the books for other people THEY love. There is a huge outpouring of creativity I've seen on youtube, from fan trailers and clips to art, music, poetry, you name it.

This song was listed as 'Bella's Lullaby', it isn't the real one, the one Edward plays for her, but in my opinion this would have been perfect. This makes me think a bit ashamedly about all the piano lessons I turned my nose up at... boy did I hate to practice. I can still play, if I want to. There are songs I remember from memory and I can pick out tunes, not play the pieces though. One odd thing about me though is that I don't read music. I play from hearing it, from memory. It still takes me awhile to learn and I make mistakes but it's how I learn.

Back to the whole Twilight subject, I cannot figure out how I didn't manage to see any movie trailers for it, nothing online, no book reviews. The one thing I remember seeing and hearing a lot was 'Edward Cullen' and I passed that off as some adolescent thing. I do watch prime time tv and I'm online all the time! Because of this I am unsure why I didn't pay any attention. The books are BESTSELLERS, everybody is reading them. The movie was a huge deal, I guess people were camping out and waiting for tickets. I have to thank my sister for the nudge, she bought me the first book for Christmas. I didn't even begin reading it right away, since I was reading something else. Well.... I started reading. Then I bought the rest of the books. Edward and Bella are hard to ignore.

To explain a bit for some folks (if you've read the books, you know what I'm talking about) I am completely sure that Bella BELONGS with Edward. There is some odd push for something to happen with Jacob, but Jake is her friend, her best friend. While some friendships do evolve, they usually do that in the absence of a relationship at all. Even though Bella somewhat hides the seriousness of her relationship with Edward for awhile, it doesn't change the fact.

I am actually considering this saga as something like the fairy tales of today, you know how as kids we had the fairy tales about Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty and any manner of princess or maiden who gets rescued by the prince or knight on a white horse - what if today's version is a small town accident-prone girl who gets rescued by a hundred year old vampire who looks 17? I'm a fan of modern fairy tales. It's not a bad way to be rescued since most of us aren't as helpless as the princesses of that time.

Men are crabbier when hungry... and the post office doesn't tape boxes...

This is the secret of life! Ok, I'm kidding. I had two revelations today. First that men are crabbier when they are hungry, and this theory has been proven over time. I'm actually cooking right now while I'm typing this, err... well I'm letting the oil heat up again. We have a wild windstorm raging outside, I am too close to a window so I swear I feel the draft coming through it! Back to the hungry issue. I am fairly domestic and I usually like to cook. I have two 'boys' that live with me, the big one and the small one. Of course the small one is now bigger than me but I call him the small one because he's younger than me. When they are hungry, they are more likely to get snippy about things or ask me about food.

Now I don't get this. When I'm hungry, I go to my kitchen and I fix myself something, OR if I don't feel like cooking, sometimes I will go out and GET myself something. I don't grumble at people that I'm hungry! If you're a man, please advise me why it seems to be this way. This is NOT to say I do not take advantage! I truly do take advantage because it kills two birds with one stone.

On to the post office issue. I found out today that the post office does not tape boxes. They also do not add any packing stuff to your box for you. The guy went as far to say he would sell me a roll of tape but I said - excuse me, do I look like I have a tape dispenser or a pair of scissors in my purse? If you cannot tape the box, it's not going to matter. After that, I asked him if I could just buy my postage label because then I could leave and take my box somewhere else. He refused to sell me a postage label. You know what? I am done with the postal service. I have a mail center a mile from my house. THEY pack boxes. They TAPE boxes. They add extra cushioning or packing material so the stuff I'm sending doesn't break, fall out, etc. They are very nice. They just cost me about five bucks more than USPS. I also have a UPS store close to me and they are just as helpful. I am really just shaking my head about the whole thing.

Coffee. Finally coffee. I love coffee. Especially Starbucks coffee. I grew up where Starbucks started, in the Pacific northwest, near Seattle. However I have noticed something that really bothers me. It's super good coffee - but is it worth almost $4 a cup?? Can we say economic meltdown? I'd sacrifice two Starbucks locations in my town if they'd cut the cost by 50 cents lol. Yes you got it, I think there are 5 Starbucks within a 5 mile radius of my house.