Political Rant Saved for Posterity....

You are NOT imagining anything and neither am I. I suppose since the threads were deleted, I can't actually go back and look at how I replied but I do tend to say the same things repeatedly just to make a point. That way, people who know me can look at my responses in several related topic threads and see the similarities in what I've posted - and KNOW it's me. I'm CLEAR when it comes to how I feel about something I'm passionate about, I leave no room for error. In fact, occasionally I get accused of being stubborn, defiant, closed-minded, assertive, aggressive, direct - but you know, those can be good things too. I'll stand my ground.

I have always had something to say about how I am suspicious or questioning of Obama's actions, policies, ideas, thoughts, campaign, and anybody who works for/with him. We are supposed to be a country run by the people, WE are supposed to elect OUR government and WE are supposed to have the final say about anything that government does. If our approval rating of OUR government is poor AND WE disagree with what OUR government is doing, they should not be doing it. BOTTOM LINE.

YES we have the right to question and oppose what OUR government does, and it doesn't mean racism and it is NOT personal! For the most part I have not directly been involved with people calling ME racist - however! People have called MY FRIENDS racist! I have heard people calling EACH OTHER racist when they have said nothing more eyebrow raising than 'I voted for Bush'. Mmmmkay. How do YOU know what motivated someone to vote the way they do? Don't you dare propose that you KNOW when you haven't even ASKED the other person. Cripes. Again, FOR THE RECORD, I wouldn't care if Obama was black, green, purple, orange, or polka dotted with yellow stripes, tie dyed, or from Jupiter, if he had the SAME policies, ideas, campaign, and supporters, I'd still disagree with him. So. After that, do you think you can REALLY still call me racist? I dare you. [em]rasp[/em]

Let's gather around and hold hands and sing kum bah yah and pretend everybody is the same on the outside, please, for heaven's sakes. With that as the setting, it's much easier to see that POLICIES are why we feel the way we do.

As far as people who want us all to shut up - this is still a free country. We have the freedom of speech. We WILL continue to have the freedom of speech. If you feel threatened by our freedom of speech, perhaps you should examine WHY you feel that way. Do you think that you'll somehow be screwed over if suddenly you are held responsible for calling US racists? maybe you should have thought about what you said and how you said it before you well.... said it.

I strongly believe that people who go about calling each other racists say so out of 'victim' mentality. It's a low blow.... they can't come up with anything relevant to say to strike back, so it always goes back to racism. If not racism, then it's something else, like gender, or perhaps... the environment. Or religion. Always something that's a hot topic that gets people all bent out of shape. Over nothing.

I will now beat my head against a brick wall. I am saving a copy of this to pull out when I need it to prove I said it in 11 months.

A Life Without Regrets

For the most part I live with no regrets. I do not mean that I have made no mistakes, I have made plenty and I will keep making them, it's part of being human. However, when something seems awful at the time or feels like the biggest mistake ever, you never realize that down the road that 'awful' thing or mistake may be what brought you to where you are.

I mean I could say, gee I wish I had had a different childhood, maybe I would be a nicer person... but in reality I can say instead that I am who I am, regardless of what happened, I can CHOOSE to be a nicer person because I can. I could say that I'm a loser and I'm miserable and a failure because my ex-husband was abusive and I deserved it but NO... none of that is true. Getting divorced sucks but sometimes it is the answer to living. Sometimes loss and pain in life that seem like it will destroy you gives you empathy, and courage. That enables you to be what other people in your life now or in the future need...

I always 'wish I had known better' when I realize I did something dumb lol. That doesn't mean I want to undo the dumb things I did. I think the dumb things I did help to make me the person I am today.... the person I would not be if any of those dumb things were undone or undo-able. I wouldn't wish that. I am very happy.... life is an adventure. If I died tomorrow, I would die with everything I ever wanted. I love myself and somebody loves me... I have children and I am a mommy. I've been married, I've been in love and I am in love. I have experienced so many things, and I have so many blessings. I believe in myself, I trust myself, and I would do almost anything out there.... if I felt like it. I have very little fear of anything, and I don't care much what other people think of me. If it's good, it's a bonus, but if it's bad, I don't give a rip lol. I don't live for other people and I'm not a conformist.

Honestly, the only times I have had regret is when I have listened to someone else INSTEAD of trusting my own intuition. I have had chaos and catastrophe happen when against my better judgement I trusted someone else, even sometimes somebody who is trustworthy - IF their suggestion or advice really went against my gut. I have learned it's better to hurt someone's feelings and say no than to spend any more of my life regretting anything, even if it's small.

Pro-choice is NOT Pro-abortion....

I am pro-choice - which does not mean PRO-ABORTION. I have to put it that way because some people still believe pro-choice means pro-abortion. It does not. It means that I believe that each person's body is their own, under their own control and affected by their own decisions. No person is owned by another nor should any person be under someone else's thumb or subjected to someone else making decisions for them against their will. Therefore, I have to support freedom and that freedom of choice. Each person has the right and responsibility to choose their own outcome, even if someone else doesn't agree with it.

Now personally, I do not think I would choose to do it. I don't think that I could. I believe that life begins at conception, plus it took me around ten years to finally have ONE baby. She is five now, I cannot imagine life without her. She was very very very wanted. Birth control is not 100%, no, but the only way around that is abstaining, who in their right mind is going to turn down their spouse lol? Either way, if we had another, it would be meant to be, since I also don't really believe in accidents. I'm not even sure I'd be capable of it if we found out there was something wrong with the baby and he or she wouldn't live. It just doesn't feel right to me... for me. I have had friends who have struggled with this decision, and some who have had abortions, some who have given babies up for adoption, and some who have raised the baby. All I have hoped for each of them in regards is peace and strength in whatever decision they ultimately made. In every case when they shared the struggle with me, I have always told them to trust their own hearts, and to make sure that whatever they choose THEY can live with. I love them no matter what, I don't judge my friends, and it isn't MY decision. It is hard to become a parent, and it is hard to decide not to. It must be awful thinking about a child you gave up too, even if you knew it meant that child gets to have a better life.

I was raised Christian and I am now an agnostic. I do not think my religion nor lack of it has anything to do with how I feel. Many decisions and struggles people face are extremely personal and extremely individual, and NOT up to others to have any say, influence, or jockeying for position. Just my two cents on the matter.

Rebirthing - Skillet lyric video (my first attempt!)

My first attempt at a lyric video @ Yahoo! Video

After a lot of editing and trial and error here is my first attempt at a lyric video. This is posted at YouTube and my feed is from there for now because I can't get it to load directly as a file from my computer. Hope you like it, I enjoyed making it.

Love in dreams

Last night I had the oddest dream about a date I went on... with somebody really fun. I don't exactly know who he was because he wasn't exactly just one person. What I gather is that he must be a patchwork of several people....

I wish I hadn't forgotten most of the dream because my daughter woke me up around 7 AM disturbing it and I hadn't written anything down. Mostly what I remember is sensation (like touch), not visual, which sounds weird but it isn't. My lovely 'date' spent a good portion of the dream trying to touch me and I spent a good portion of time slipping away from him. Nothing pervy, I mean there was a lot of waist grabbing but we spent a lot of time in a truck. We weren't alone either, my cousin's wife actually had invited me, I clearly remember hearing her say she was glad she invited me because I was fun. *I* was fun? I wish I could remember the guy's name, so many things about him were so familiar but as a combination, doesn't ring a bell. He was young though, too young for me actually, so I think maybe when I dream I allow myself to stretch.

Dreams like this don't really have any reason for being, I have them every once in awhile and they are so real and so clear - to the point where I remember feeling terror in the dream that people I know will find out since I'm not technically supposed to be going on dates LOL! There are also times when people I know ARE in the dream too, and I usually am hoping there isn't bloodshed as a result. I like to have fun dreams and have a good time, but I think it would morph into a veritable nightmare if suddenly people started throwing punches or drawing knives or heck... biting each other!

I guess I decided to write about this so I can figure it out myself. I must have some odds and ends floating around in my mind that only come out in dreams. I used to journal and write extensively several years ago and only now have I returned to it in a small way by blogging, not quite the same as storytelling though. One thing I do know is that I do appreciate a little fun and I never turn it down if it doesn't hurt anybody, that's a nice thing to know about yourself.

How to censor yourself and not others....yes you epic FAILED!

So along comes another censorship issue, which I seem to butt heads with at least quarterly, if not more often. I post at a discussion site now and then and I really try to avoid the religious topics because it is SO easy to fall right into the trap of arguing with people who have already made up their minds to judge you because they disagree and refuse to see outside of their little 'box'.

I happened upon a discussion about a guy who was given a JAIL SENTENCE because he dressed up as a religious figure. My first thought was really... WHAT?! My second thought was mostly irritation toward whoever would consider giving a jail sentence to another person because they dressed up in a costume. A costume is a costume, folks. Do you think you'd have an issue if I dressed up as something or somebody? Why? What if I told you I just felt like it? Is it the INTENT that gets people's blood boiling? What if there is NO malicious intent? And how likely do you think it is that a person you don't even know that doesn't know you is PURPOSELY TRYING TO OFFEND YOU? Slim to none? Then why be offended? I don't understand.

So.. what follows is my response to one of the answers somebody gave:

I agree with this. People have GOT to start SELF censoring. If YOU personally don't like something, don't look at it. Don't listen to it. Don't read it. Don't get involved with it. Don't shop there. ETC ETC ETC! It's quite simple. Don't get the arrogant idea that just because YOU dislike or hate something or are against it that the person in FAVOR of it is purposely TRYING TO OFFEND YOU. This is not true, and it likely isn't about you at all. There are things I don't like. Doesn't mean I am personally offended and think that someone who LOVES it HATES me or is trying to hurt me or make me feel bad or get me upset or angry, etc. They probably have no idea I even exist plus my opinion shouldn't matter to them nor theirs to me. The only time I would actually think someone was purposely trying to offend me is if they SAID they were or indicated they were, and they were somebody I knew! Most of the backlash and issues are between people who are virtual strangers!

What I see instead is someone hates something they try to get it banned, which interferes with OTHER PEOPLES' enjoyment of (insert thing here). I think THIS is not fair which is why I am against censorship and banning of pretty much anything. Several examples - I don't smoke and I wouldn't personally have an abortion, but I am completely in support of smokers' rights and the rights of women to have final say over their own bodies. If I don't support free choices I am in essence cutting off my own foot down the road. I've seen it said that your personal freedom ends where mine begins, and that is true in a way. Believe what you want but don't impose your feelings on me. Take what you want, leave what you don't, but don't TAKE from me because you don't like what I like!

I mean just because someone else hates a book I love or hates a tv show I watch or hates a video game or a musician or whatever, I don't believe in any way, shape, or form that THEIR OPINION OR DISLIKE should translate into anything that affects ME, so they should take their hate and keep it to themselves! I want to read my book, not have it banned by someone hateful, I want to watch my tv show, not have it pulled by someone hateful, I might want to play my video game or watch my kids enjoy it, not have to beat someone's door down for getting it removed from stores, and as far as the musician, different strokes for different folks. Tell me, what is so hard about looking at it that way? Creative control lies with each individual, nobody should have the right to choose for anybody else on this planet.

Twilight Ate My Life....or how to make videos

My very first video of Twilight-inspired graphic art... and I am shaking in my boots. I love YouTube, I have been spending a lot of time there lately and mostly in awe of the creativity of fans and music lovers alike. I decided instead of posting up my first video there I'd do it in relative safety at my blog where I can choose who I share it with. I know my subscribers and friends I'd feed the link to love me and won't make fun no matter how amateur it is. I make this with love.... love of the techie stuff that allows someone who has never made a video or movie before to do it (thank you Picasa, thank you Aaron)... love of the characters who inspired the art and the artists who drew it. I couldn't credit anybody because they are screenshotted and not even posted up by the original authors, but most of them were signed by the original artists so I'm just saying I didn't draw these lol. I sure do wish I could draw this well. Aaron, if you read this I guess you might remember Jim (Ko) drew manga so this would be right up his alley. What I actually want to do is get lots of high quality art, screenshots, and photos and intersperse it with video from trailers or my dvd when it arrives. There are so many cool things I'd love to work on but I discovered through trial and error the last couple days that I need large files or they come up pixelated and unclear and wouldn't work for a video, at least not the quality I want if I'm going to upload them anywhere other people get to see. Please keep in mind I'll polish this up and probably use a different program next time so I can animate my text stuff better. I hope you enjoy my first stab at creativity using something other than well.... just words. =P